The Juke of Visual Hazards.. “I say to you all, I have nothing to offer but fear, loathing and hatred. We have before us car design of the most grievous kind. We have before us many, many aesthetic crimes. You ask, what am I on about? I say we need to wage war by land, sea, and air against a dark and lamentable crime. The Nissan Juke….”

That’s how Winston would have responded to seeing a Nissan Juke army approaching the white cliffs. I, on the other hand, recoiled in horror and ran for the high ground, the first time I saw a Nissan Puke.

It is without a shadow of a doubt, the most hideous piece of design ever to leave the Nissan drawing board. I am not suggesting that I could design a car which is more pleasing to the eye than Nissan. …Actually, that is exactly what I am suggesting. In fact, I could shit a better car design than that. The individuals lucky enough to have the opportunity to design cars for a living MUST do a better job.

Unfortunately, I seem to be in the opinion minority. More and more of these vehicular abortions are appearing on our roads every day. What is wrong with the people that are buying these things? They must have more money than they have eyes.

All is lost! Nissan Skylines are turning over in their rusty graves…

It’s been a strange week.
Despite having my mortality reinforced painfully, I am actually going to end the week feeling pretty happy.
Most of the time, little things that are going on in my life seem SO important. Then something happens that reminds me what is really important.

So I urge everyone to stop sweating the small stuff. Life is way too short.

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[image lifted from www.WordBoner.com]

Where do slugs get off?

They watch me all day from the gaps in the decking, and then sneak out and eat my sodding strawberries while I’m sleeping.

They crawl about on my dogs ‘leavings’, depositing their slimy slug spunk all over it, making the cleanup operation even more repulsive than normal.

They give me the ‘sad eyes’ when i drop them in the bin (or they would if they had eyes… do they have eyes?)

Now they seem to think it’s OK to cover my dogs toys with what I assume is their seed.

The long and short of it is that slugs are slimy, inconsiderate, thieving eyeless bastards.

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33 resources separated into three lists: inspiration, design and development.

Quite possibly the most recognisable symbol on the planet.

So proud am I, to say it graced virtually every piece of school work i ever produced (and that of those around me). An evocative, clinically simple swirl of the pen and wrist is all it takes to deface any surface.

I say ‘deface’. The first person who drew a stylised cock and balls on something was in fact, a branding genius. As a marketing type, I can only hope to achieve such greatness in my own time.

At what point in my life will it cease to be funny to draw cocks on things? I say never.

The example above (not my own work) was in the sleepy seaside idyll of Swanage. I like to think that this was penned by someone in their 70’s. Also, it was a woman. I cant corroborate this.

While the execution is less than great, the slightly repelled pose of the child makes for an horrific abuse subtext. Not great.

That is all……..

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